There are seasons of marriage when you feel strong, capable, and ready to take on whatever comes your way. Then there are seasons when life reminds you that you are human. Over the next few months we will exam three tools that are essential to this season.
This month, we are opening A Wife's Toolbox and pulling this tool that I believe every wife needs:
TOOL #1: ABILITY TO PIVOT
I am learning that there is a difference between quitting and pivoting. Quitting says, I'm done. Pivoting says, I may not be able to continue this way, but I can find another way forward. That distinction matters in life, and it certainly matters in marriage. We make plans. We create schedules. We establish routines. We decide how life is "supposed" to look.
Then life happens.
Health changes. Careers change. Children grow up. Finances shift. Family responsibilities change. Dreams evolve. Bodies change. Roles change. And sometimes the woman who could manage everything yesterday realizes that she cannot manage everything today. That does not mean she has failed.
It may simply mean that it is time to pivot.
One of the most freeing lessons I have learned during this season is that changing direction does not mean abandoning purpose. Sometimes the route changes while the destination remains the same.
Marriage requires that kind of flexibility.
Some seasons, one spouse carries more than the other. There will be moments when you must rearrange responsibilities. And there will be times when the rhythm that worked for your marriage five years ago simply does not work for the marriage you have today.
And that is okay.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us: "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven." If seasons change, why would we expect marriage to remain exactly the same? A healthy marriage learns how to move with the season without losing the covenant. Sometimes love says, "This isn't working anymore. Let's find another way." Sometimes wisdom says, "I need help." And sometimes faith says, "God, this wasn't my plan, but I trust You with the pivot
A WORD TO THE STRONG WIFE
I especially want to speak to the wife everyone calls strong. The wife everybody depends on. The wife who can organize it, fix it, pray about it, work through it, and somehow make everything happen. Sis, strength is a beautiful thing. But strength was never supposed to become a prison. You do not have to prove your strength by refusing help. You do not have to protect your identity by refusing to pivot. And you do not have to protect your heart by shutting your husband out.
Sometimes strength looks like surrender. Sometimes strength looks like receiving. Sometimes strength looks like crying. Sometimes strength looks like changing the plan. Sometimes strength sounds like three simple words: "I need you."
THE WIFE'S TOOLBOX CHALLENGE
This month, I want you to sit with this question:
Where do I need to pivot?
What am I holding onto simply because this is how I've always done it? Don't rush your answers. Pray over them. Talk about them together. And remember: the goal is not to discover what is wrong with your marriage. The goal is to discover where your marriage has room to become deeper.
A PRAYER FOR OUR MARRIAGES
Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and for the person You have chosen to walk beside us through life's changing seasons. Give us wisdom to know when it is time to pivot and courage to release what no longer serves the season You have brought us into. When we are strong, teach us to serve. When we are weary, teach us to receive. When the plan changes, teach us to trust You.
And when we cannot carry ourselves, remind us that marriage was never designed for us to carry life alone. Continue strengthening our marriages, deepening our friendships, and teaching us how to love one another through every version of ourselves and every season yet to come.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Keep loving. Keep growing. Keep choosing one another. And most of all...
Keep adding tools to your toolbox. 💜
Until next time,
Lady Tara Kyle
Author of A Wife's Toolbox