So, this month will be a continuation from last month. We are opening A Wife's Toolbox and pulling out another tool that I believe every wife needs:
TOOL #2: THE COURAGE TO BE AUTHENTIC
Pivoting, however, only works when we are willing to tell the truth about where we are. That brings us to the second tool:
Authenticity.
There can be tremendous pressure on women to appear as though we have everything together. We take care of our families. We support our husbands. We serve. We work. We lead. We encourage everybody else. And somewhere along the way, we can become so good at being what everyone needs that we forget to ask ourselves:
"What do I need?"
Authenticity means giving yourself permission to answer that question truthfully. It means being able to tell your husband:
"I'm tired."
"I'm overwhelmed."
"I don't know what to do right now."
"I need you."
"I don't feel like myself today."
Authenticity is not selfishness. It is honesty. Your husband cannot truly love the woman you keep hidden from him. Marriage requires more than sharing a home, finances, responsibilities, and a last name. It requires sharing yourself. The real you. Not just the strong you. Not just the church you. Not just the professional you. Not just the mother you. Not just the wife who gets everything done.
You.
The woman who sometimes has questions. The woman who sometimes needs reassurance. The woman who sometimes becomes tired. The woman who sometimes needs somebody else to say, "I've got you." Being authentic does not mean abandoning who you are for the sake of your marriage. Quite the opposite. You can pivot and still remain true to yourself. You can adjust without disappearing. You can compromise without losing your identity. You can grow without becoming unrecognizable to yourself.
The goal of marriage is not to erase two individuals and create one indistinguishable person. It is to create a covenant where two whole people continually learn how to walk together.
And that requires truth.
THE WIFE'S TOOLBOX CHALLENGE
This month, I want you to sit with this question:
Where do I need to be more authentic?
Is there something I have been feeling, needing, or carrying that I have not honestly communicated to my husband? Don't rush your answers. Pray over them. Talk about them together. And remember the goal is not to discover what is wrong with your marriage. The goal is to discover where your marriage has room to become deeper.
A PRAYER FOR OUR MARRIAGES
Father, thank You for the gift of marriage and for the person You have chosen to walk beside us through life's changing seasons. Give us wisdom to know when it is time to pivot and courage to release what no longer serves the season You have brought us into. Help us remain authentic. Teach us not to disappear behind titles, responsibilities, expectations, or the need to appear strong.
When we are strong, teach us to serve. When we are weary, teach us to receive. When the plan changes, teach us to trust You. And when we cannot carry ourselves, remind us that marriage was never designed for us to carry life alone. Continue strengthening our marriages, deepening our friendships, and teaching us how to love one another through every version of ourselves and every season yet to come.
In Jesus' name, Amen.
Keep loving. Keep growing. Keep choosing one another. And most of all...
Keep adding tools to your toolbox. 💜
Until next time,
Lady Tara Kyle
Author of A Wife's Toolbox